Friday, April 30, 2010

Pump 3

Did you know that if you pre pay for gas because you want to also buy a bottle of water and you tell the attendant the wrong pump number it turns into a big fucking deal?

First, let me set the scene: on the way to work I need to stop and get gas, margaret is waiting in the car while I go up to the one-man box with only bullet proof plastic-glass and one of those bottom of the window cracks that you see in banks so you can slide money back and forth, but can't quite get your handgun through for good enough aim. I can't see my pump number from where I'm standing, but I can see the one on the other side. That pump number is four, the one next to that is six, I figure mine is three.

I made a gamble, I felt secure in this choice, I bought a bottle of water. I wondered if the attendant would have to walk the bottle of water through the side door of the attendant box, and around the corner to me, like how they walk your bag of purchases around the corner of the counter to you in Nordstrom. But then the bottle of water came shooting out of a hole in the wall, more near the ground than the window, and I scrambled after it while it rolled around on the gas stained ground. Curiousity soothed.

Then I walked to my pump to begin the process, and the guy in front of me is already filling is car with gas. Before I can even squeeze the handle, the attendant has run out of his box and is yelling at me that I paid for the wrong pump. I look up and mine is number one. Well fuck. Dude who is already pumping is number three. But really? If I buy someone else's gas, good karma to me, and what do I care? So I tell the attended, "It's cool, I'll pay for his." But he is very adament that I not pay for his, that, "You've messed up the whole system!". Oops, my bad, let's yell about it though. So instead of letting me pay for ten dollars of dude's gas, the attendant gives me ten dollars in cash, credited the rest to my card and had me re-purchase my original amount at the correct pump. So lucky guy number three got 10 free bucks of gas. Today he gets a bingo and I get a very angry attendant. And a good friday morning story. Oops.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Writing Circle

At work this week and last, my three co-workers and I have been circulating an email build-your-own-story game. We each get to write one sentence then we send it to the next person in line. And around and around it goes. I'm about to wave my nerd flag with gusto because this game makes me SO EXCITED! For one, ohmygosh did someone say writing game?! Because usually writing involves me, alone, having intimate moments with my laptop... i mean, what? And for two, the story is delightful! We're already on chapter two but let me give you snippet of the beginning.

It was already springtime, and the absence of Beverly’s petunias was somehow more conspicuous than her own. Normally the flowers bloomed pink and purple along the sidewalk leading up to Beverly’s door. Could it have possibly been the urine, Eunice wondered. No, given the purplish residue on the garden’s grassy perimeter, it could only have been chemical sabotage. Whatever the cause, she was reluctant to leave her perch atop the dresser to investigate; this was a job for Kate.

And let me tell you - it only get's better from there. Three of us are writers, one a math major, but to his credit he is a creative thinker with a decent vocabulary. There are twists and turns, but none of the childish "and they she woke up" busniess. At first I thought it would be a mildly entertaining time suck, but as the game continued and the sentences piled up and we wrapped up chapter one, I started to get really excited about the plot. Nerd excited. There were squeels and clapping and exclamations of "I LOVE THIS!". It's opening up a whole new writing option: the world of collaberation. I would love to do this for real one day, for a project to be published (will this be published? no, but maybe I'll print it out and stick it in a notebook for me to find years from now and giggle over) or even for a screenplay a la Matt Damen and Ben Affleck. I have dreams. I have enthusiasm. I have another sentence to write in my outlook email.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Fashion: Makeup Or Not

It's Friday and I'm bored at work so what am I doing? Surfing the blogosphere, that's what. And once again Mightygirl is inspiring me to think beyond my usual existance, and re-evaluate my lifescope with this post. I generally love her packing light blogs because who doesn't like hearing tips on wrinkle free clothes that will look good in all of those vacation pictures. I take more pictures on vacation than anywhere else and I'm always looking wrinkled and schleppy. Mightygirl has definitely given me tips on how to keep my facebook albums looking sharp, is all I'm saying.

But when I saw her latest packing post on makeup and toiletries I had a serious what the fuck moment. I know that I am not the most makeup-y person I know. I'm probably one of the least makeup-y persons I know. Maris and Claire out rank me in that arena by a good leap ... maybe even a bound. But I'm not makeup ignoramous. For proof of this I bring you a photo of me from December - probably wearing the most makeup I've ever worn ever:

I know how to make it work. The smudging and stuff, the morning after beauty. I can apply lipstick. But I do probably 3 times a year? MAYBE. So when I read this post and was all "woah! that's a long list, I'm lucky if I remember my toothbrush on vacation!" I thought - there has to be comments with my exact sentiment, right? There had to be people out there just as blown away by the amount of beauty products listed in that post. I'll give it to her, she is really really put together, but who needs a nose hair clipper or a nail kit on any vacation ever? Aren't there things you take care of before you go? So I checked the comments, read through them all, and did not find one person who thought maybe the list was a little excessive. Instead the comments were all "great tips! I'll add that to my list!" Whhaa? Really? Why? And then of course I couldn't help but feel a little left out.

Because I want to be put together too! I want bleed free lipstick! (do i?) And I want perfect hair and well manicured nails! I want people to be like "wow, she is flawless and she doesn't even try!" And I do. Except I don't want to just SEEM like I don't try, I really want to not try. I want my wake up to out the door time frame (with a shower) to be no more than 45 min and that includes a blowdry. I don't want to spend an hour getting ready in a hotel room when I could be running around seeing and doing lots of things (life list things?). I would prefer to have decent hair and wrinkle free clothes and nothing stuck in my teeth while I'm posing in front of Aztec Pyramids, but I don't think I care about removing my makeup before I go to sleep or making sure I have baby wipes on hand for sticky situations (those things are great for everything I hear), but does that make me a complete tomboy doof? For some reason I'm still feeling left out of the girl club and kind of like I need to get my act together. And I'm feeling pretty annoyed by how a list of beauty products is giving me this knee-jerk reaction. Where are the girls who like buying shoes and purses but also don't care about walking out of the house with mascara on? I need a middle ground.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

April Writing

I feel like April has been a slow month for blogging. Too much running around and living happening. Or hiding from the world and watching episode after episode of America's Next Top Model. Whichever.

I've been working on my 25th year goals along with my life list goals so my time is being spent all productively and less contemplatively. I'm doing some experimental short fiction work called "Bon Fille" and plugging away at my novel "Maine" (chapter one is nearing completion, the prologue is in the bag!). I'm hoping to get the other short peice I have cooking ,"Benz", sent out into the world for a few May deadlines I'm sure will be returned back to me with a big NO THANK YOU (I'm really pulling for that thank you bit), but it's all in the spirit of try try again.

I got an amazing white and yellow polka dot computer from my parents and grandmother for my birthday (Thank you!) which is going to make my writing so much better, so much happier, so much zestier, I'm just sure of it. And good timing too because this morning as I was still plugging away at my old heave-ho of a clunker laptop, it froze. And then I restarted it and it froze again - this time, just for funsies. I think the fan is headed for a non-whirring grave which means poor Oscar (name of computer) is in over heated hell.

Doesn't that just bring you oodles of joy? I love it. Go Dell for making pretty electronics. Wee!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Year I Was 24

It is amazing, jaw dropping, how many things occur within the start to finish of one year. I've done these "The year I was ___" posts since I was 21. You won't find them here since I started my blog a-fresh, but in a way it's rather poetic to begin again on the day I turn 25. Everyone likes a nice, round number.

The day I turned 24 I put on my new pink jacket and went to work.

I remember it was a beautiful day and my parent's were heading back to Seattle and it felt surreal because here it was: The Day. And there wasn't any hoopla. That had all been taken care of the weekend before. I remember thinking that the following year my birthday would be in Seattle and how different it would all be. So that was April.

In July I moved the first round of things home with Kathleen as co-pilot, went to Naomi's amazing birthday party, met Kamel and had a photo shoot.

I kept telling Kamel I wasn't going to fall in love with him, and he kept saying, "ok" until one day I did, and he said, "I knew it."

In early August Claire came back from Africa. Thank God. And I went to my first peer wedding. Congratulations Tricia!

It was beautiful and I cried. I also set up the apartment for me and Claire. We were finally in the same city and living on Capital Hill as room mates. Amazing. The dynamic duo together again.

In late August I turned in my Master's Thesis, had a fabulous girl's reunion in SF and read to a large room of my peers, professors, and parents at Grad Night.

This time my Dad cried.

In August Naomi and I took off in a UHaul and I officially left San Francisco. I was excited, I felt like I was doing the right thing. After a few weeks in Seattle and living with Claire, I started working at the bakery, pinching pennies and enjoying, really enjoying, my long distance relationship with Kamel. Bliss lasted until about October when I started feeling trapped and frustrated with Seattle. I wasn't writing, I had no money, and no matter how I searched, I just couldn't find any relevant work. My loan was looming and I doubted I could pay it, but I pushed it aside and tried to work harder. I picked up more shifts, I spent even less money, I was always conflicted. I remember a conversation with my parents around Christmas time about what we were all hoping for in the next year. I remember thinking I had nothing to look forward to.

In Late Jan. I checked the job situation in San Francisco and burst into tears while sitting at my newly purchased desk. It was clear I needed to move back. I planned the exodus for the end of February and on the 28th I loaded my car up and, with Kamel, drove back to The City.

This morning I woke up when Kamel came into his sister's living room and crawled into the blow up bed to cuddle me at 6am. We made frozen pancakes in the toaster, Regina greeted me with messy hair and a sing songy "happy birthdayyyy!" Eric wandered out of his room with a zippy wrapped around his waist, singing to me on his way to the bathroom and Kamel and I danced in the kitchen.

For this year of my life I have made two goals.
Goal 1: Write every single day for at least 30 min. Blogs do not count. I don't plan on missing any, but if I do, I'll have to call it out on here. Root for me.
Goal 2: Run a consistent 6 miles. Right now I'm doing 2? Well, the point is, I'm starting and focused on achieving this one. It boggles me how some people can simply whip out 6-8 miles, no problem. That's never been me. But let's see if I can become someone like that. I have a year. And who knows where I'll be at the end of this one.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Famous People

Me: Oh man... Last night I dreamed I was having sex with Robert Pattinson... We were like in this bathroom at one point, in this school, and everyone was jealous of me. But then it was kind of disappointing because right before we did it, he turned into a very skinny woman with a very tiny penis. And I was all "ew! what is that?!"

Kamel: What? That is gross! Robert Pattinson? Last night I dreamed that I was making out with Paris Hilton. It was really fun, we kept running around the city and didn't even care that people were taking our picture. Except her mouth tasted like cigarettes. And then I woke up and my next dream was that you bought me a computer.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Life List: 3 Day Step 1

Step one is ordering the free information packet... (check!)

It also came with this awesome breast cancer promise ring that Kamel wanted to steal but bitch can get his own packet! :)

Next step = picking a year to do it, deciding on a city, and finding the money. Also - I need to start accumulating way more pink clothing. Who's in?

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Last year on this day I was walking the golden gate bridge(for the first time) with my parents. It was a beautifully clear, stunningly bright day.

My mom kept leaning over the edge, feeling the bridge give and wiggle with the weight and movement of the cars, the wind, the earth, and saying, "Feel that? You feel that in your loins! This is living!"

This year I spent the afternoon at candy land.

Ghirardelli square, actually. But pretty much the same thing. The land of chocolate, caramel, and ice cream wonder. After 40+ days of no sugar - no baked goods, candy, fruit drinks, nada - I came to binge on one thing only:

A giant chocolate chip cookie!! The last time I had one I had just driven down to SF for the first time ever and Maris and I were running around the wharf like silly tourists.

I couldn't finish it then either. This thing is DENSE. And that's as far as I got before feeling completely overwhelmed. And then I put it back into it's bag and threw it away. It turns out I really like not being addicted to sugar. I still crave it, I'm not going to lie. Especially when I'm having a bad day, or am particularly stressed. But it doesn't occupy my thoughts every single day like it used to. And it doesn't torture me not to finish something sweet anymore. Although I will fully enjoy candy at movies, birthday cake, and special occasion desserts, I won't be sitting in bed eating boxes of candy from walgreens, or buying those individual cakes at safeway + a diet coke and going at it with a fork. Yes, I know - FATTY. :)

Right now I'm hiding from the rain with Kamel, roasting potatoes, garlic, and squash. The grated parm is ready for sprinkling and the baguette is perfectly sliced. I'm watching one of my favorite heist movies of all time (The Italian Job) and dreading work tomorrow. It's been a great weekend and a great Easter.

Hope you found lots of goodies hunting eggs!

Complimentary Upgrade

How I know the weekend is going to be fabulous:
Good news!

Although you originally ordered Standard (4 to 5 business days) shipping and handling, we have given your order special priority processing in our warehouse and are upgrading the shipping and delivery time frame for your order.Your order will ship out today and be given a special priority shipping status so that you can receive your order even faster than we originally promised!

Please note that this is being done at no additional cost to you. It is simply our way of saying thank you for being our customer.
Thank you Zappos for being another reason I love shoes.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Oom Shaaanty

Yesterday I took my very first intro meditation class with my new lady friend chuck*. There will be more on the meditation experience as the classes progress (twice a week for two more weeks) and I may just graduate to intermediate. We'll see. But as for now I am realizing that my soul resides in the middle of my forehead as a bright spot of light and that controlling your thoughts, controls your actions, and in the end controls who you are. (Did you enjoy the foot notes version of class #1? that will be free, except of course if you'd like to donate, there is a box near the door)

Today I exchanged some emails with lady friend chuck*:

me: ps. my mantra for the day has been "you are a happy, bright person". hehe

LFC: mine is you are nice to everyone. there will be chocolate.

me: thank god you're not super reverent about this. It would be so much less fun.

LFC: i bet that weird dude has been chanting ommm shannnnty at work all day!

me: I really really hope so. And I really hope I can not bust out laughing when we share our experiences on tues and I Really hope his friend is just as weird. I call that positive thinking. I'm embracing the hell out of their karmic energy.

LFC: One can not help but state the obvious when talking about weirdos. That dude was odd.

me: can i put this conversation on my blog? I can take your name out if you would prefer. Do you have a particular alias you desire?

LFC: ha. sure. hopefully the dude would never see if you don't put the center name.
call me chuck. :)

me: ok, but you have to be my lady friend chuck. full on "lady friend chuck said".

And so it goes.