Some Days

Some days life is just hard. Harder than it should be, harder than the other normal days where something goes wrong and you smack yourself on the forehead and go "what the fuuuuuck", and then you move on. Yesterday was one of those days. So much so that I am now laughing about it.

I should have known something wasn't right and I should have marched right back into bed when Kamel totally flipped out on me in the morning over putting turkey on bread. There was also mayonnaise involved and his total, full body, melt down, complete with yelling and the pulling of his own hair, may have possibly been because of my provocation, but seriously - the reaction was totally uncalled for. It actually startled me, and then sent me stomping out of the house without him... until he caught up with me at the bus stop and then cuddled me into submission all the way down Geary, until it was his turn to disembark. Then, as I was nearing my stop, I saw two homeless guys trying to beat the shit out of each other. They were chasing one another around a newspaper stand, yelling and arm waving and trying to swipe at each other with their fists and then one guy yanked a stick,which was probably, at one time, holding some sort of a sign, off the telephone pole and started to swing it at the other guy, nails and all. That's when the bus moved forward and I was left with an icky feeling in my stomach and a vague feeling that maybe I should call the cops, but I didn't.

Then time escaped me at work. Actually escaped me, who does that at a job that is sucking the soul out of them? And I had to go put more money on my bus card because it was all the way down to zero, and I was about to be late for a meeting with my internship boss we shall call bloggess (until I can officially announce. At this point I'm just trying to impress her). So I called Kamel and he said he could swing by and get me in 30 min, leaving us 45 min to get to the meeting and it was all going to be A-ok. Saweet. But then there was traffic and thirty min turned into 40 minutes and then when I finally got into the car, and Kamel was frantically trying to avoid San Francisco traffic in order to get me back toward our apartment in 30 minutes or less, he accidentally took a wrong turn landing us right smack dab on the Bay Bridge.

The BAY BRIDGE TO OAKLAND,with no exits left. Heading east. During rush hour. which meant even if we got off at the Treasure Island exit, we would still have to battle against arguably the worst traffic in the city just to get me to my meeting in now - 24 minutes. If you had been in the car when the turn was made this is what you would have heard:

Me: Is this the bridge? Is this the bridge? Are we on the fucking bay bridge? Are we going to Oakland? We are totally going to Oakland. Mother FUCKER we're on the bridge.

Simultaneously Kamel: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? There was no sign! did you see one sign? NOT ONE FUCKING SIGN FUUUUUCK.
*While he banged the palms of both hands again and again down on the steering wheel

Also by this time I am starving to death because we are on day two of Weight Watchers Online Wedding Get Fit Marathon 2010-2011. Which just so happens to be what the morning fight was about. ("why are you putting on mayonnaise? do you know how many points that is? Have you made my sandwich yet? we're going to be late for work!" ... ahem) Once I realized we were headed right for the 9th circle of hell I knew I had to email the bloggess and let her know that I wasn't going to make our scheduled appointment. Thankfully her response started off with a, "ahhhhh hahahahahaha". She understood. Well, while I was emailing with my phone and Kamel was swearing at traffic, and I was starving to death, I also became ridiculously car sick. So there we were, windows rolled down, me gritting my teeth so as not to puke, and Kamel trying his damndest to now get us home as fast as he can since the meeting was graciously rescheduled.

But what could we possibly have for dinner? Our evening plans were flipped over backwards and I was about to start gnawing on my own arm. Plus we were restricted by points. So I resorted to a trick my mother taught me: Baked potato in the microwave. Only 3 points and it's done in ten minutes! (5 for each side). I don't know if I can fully and accurately explain how god awful hungry I was by the time I got home. Thankfully, what happened after I pulled the potato out of the microwave paints a pretty good picture.

Let me start off by saying the plate was really, really hot. And I had only grabbed it with one hand in a pot holder and totally under estimated the weight of my potato. I went to set the plate down quickly on the table, but Kamel was framing photos for our photo wall project and their was no safe spot left. By this time the plate had begun to dip and I was forced into using my other, naked hand (the tip of my pointer finger) to help hold up the plate, but it wasn't enough and I was burning myself. As I went to set the plate on top of Kamel's empty plate (still on the counter), the potato flew off and smashed to the ground in the little space under the cabinets, sending little sizzling potato chunks all over my clean kitchen floor.

And then I burst into tears and walked straight into the bedroom as Kamel called from the kitchen, "it's ok, Lauren! the floor is clean! It's totally fine! I saved it! holy mother this plate is HOT!"

I cried into my pillow for about 30 seconds before returning to the kitchen and putting cheese on my potato, and trying to eat it but ending up spitting it back out on my plate because, uh, it was too hot. About that same time Maris sent me an email that read,

"aaaaaaaaand WIN"...... for no discernible reason I can think of.... complete with this photo attached:

And I knew I was finally out of the woods.

The Weekend

It was early August when I realized that the following month would be Kamel's birthday... and I had no idea what to get him. The man has everything he's ever wanted: a formidable DVD collection, every video game he could ever want, he never wants for clothing, he just got a new computer, I mean really, I was at a loss. But then I remembered our "list of things to do before 2010 is over". Only a few more months until the year is out, and we'd only done one thing on our list. One thing that had me wide eyed with terror, and had Kamel giddy with excitement. It was time to cross something else off, so I booked a B&B and decided to take Kamel somewhere he had never been: Carmel By The Sea - a little village, with an amazing beach and lots of shops, just south of Monterey. I would have never known about this gem of a beach town if it wasn't for my amazing boss Traci and her enthusiasm for the place. Thanks Traci!!

1.) Charter a boat
2.) Take Kamel somewhere he has never been (he's always doing this for me, it's time for me to show off a little)
3.) Go to Mexico
4.) Go to at least 1 concert
5.) Host a party in our new place

The waves made the most amazing crashing noises, big booms that echoed down the beach.
 

The water was rather cold, but the sand was warm.

And eventually you got used to the temperature shock, anyways.

Kamel rented a lens for the weekend and took some pretty adorable pictures of my feet jumping out of the cold, foamy water. By 6 oclock we were totally beat, and headed back to the B&B in Montery to play some Quiddler (A word game kind of like Gin Rummy that I HIGHLY recommend to all my word nerds out there!) on their rooftop deck in the sunset.

This was my first time at a Bed and Breakfast and the experience started out really well. When we checked in, the amazing smells of breakfast greeted us. Eggs and toast and bacon, mmm. I knew the extra splurge was going to be totally worth it. The reviews on the place said that it was really clean, incredibly friendly staff, but that the rooms were small. I always think this critique on a hotel is silly. It's a room, in a small hotel, unless you're in a resort - what are you exactly expecting? Boutique hotels might be small, but they are often very stylish.

Ok, so it was small, and you could hear everything anyone said in the hallway, and when you didn't shut the door all the way an alarm sounded, even if you had just ducked out into the hallway for a minute, but it smelled so clean and happy in our room, and the bathroom was bright and tiled and lovely, and the room had these amazing hardwood floors, and the bed was just.... lounge-able ya know? With the greatest pillows ever created. Except the shower leaked. And I don't mean leaked a little, I mean there was a space in the shower door that was about an inch wide all the way across where water would come gushing out. Kamel had to jam one of the bath mats into the door just to keep us from flooding the place. But the soap smelled nice, and I fell asleep watching tv, so things were still good in my book. When I fell asleep Kamel was still wide awake and the window to the room was open, and because we were on the ground level he wanted to close it before he went to bed so we wouldn't be robbed and murdered while we slept. But when he went to close it, sometime after 10pm, the alarm sounded - the same annoying alarm that the door to our room had - so that no matter which way he moved it, the alarm would sound, so the window stayed cracked. This ended up being a good thing as I was very very hot and uncomfortable for most of the night. The bed happened to be a Full, and I have become rather accustomed to my queen sized bed, especially while sharing with someone else. This bed must have been on the small side of full, too, because with both of us lying on our backs, side by side, we were both at the edge. This caused a lot of rolling rolling rolling all night long as if we were meat on a spit. Very unpleasent.

But then the morning came! with the breakfast! that was paid for compliments of the room! and the part of the hotel where the breakfast was served was this amazing eclectic adorable picnic meets Victorian chandeliers type deal and my shitty nights sleep zoomed out the cracked window when the hotel owner poured me fabulous black tea and I got to sit in a booth with a pillow behind my back for extra support. Holiday Inn Buffet this was surely not. Then she brought out this tiny plate with a pastry wafer with baked on pecans and brown sugar sitting atop a bed of strawberries and cream. I thought, "Heaven. THIS IS HEAVEN." But that was just the amuse bouche right? What was the main course going to be, oh bed and breakfast of mine?!

Bagels. With Salmon.

Wait, what? Where is my eggs and toast? Where are my waffles with powdered sugar? A bagel? I know they have these at the Holiday Inn, hell even at the Days Inn. So the plate was coated in salmon, yes I see this, but I just can't do cold fish at 9am. I know lots of people who love it, and maybe my pallet is just not as refined as the rest of yours, but seriously.... I got the fancier hotel with the whole boutique ambiance and the breakfast at the bed and BREAKFAST is bagels? Bagels. Can you tell I'm STILL disappointed?

Anyways - day two of Kamel's birthday fun surprise was taking him on yet another boat ride. God, yes, I am a saint. But this time I scheduled it for 11AM, where the seas are bound to be less... frightening? bone chillingly cold? And the whole point of this sail boat adventure was that their were animals out in the water to be seen and discovered! And photographed! A 1 hr/45min sail boat ride to seek out sea lions, otters, dolphins, porpoise, and maybe even whales.

About 30 minutes into the ride I got bored. We had seen the sea lions and the pelicans and the otters. Amazing that they don't only live in the aquarium. But their was little wind and we were on a small boat with just the captain and us, the captain who wasn't very chatty or tour guid-y. Kamel took pictures and I looked around and enjoyed the slap of the water against the boat and the sunshine and swatted at the flies that kept bothering us due to lack of wind.

I daydreamed about lunch.

You know what the best part was? Managing to totally surprise Kamel, take him somewhere he had never been and having him love it, being able to get away from the city and have a few adventures. And it was only one night, and it was only a few hours away, and it was great.

Let Them Eat Cake

The cupcakes were so tempting,

and we were so hungry, and it was so his birthday,

that we didn't even make it out of the car before having one each.

The second one we saved for dessert. Birthdays are delicious.

The Old Man & The Sea

Happy birthday Kamely!! Today you turn 28 and that makes you forever and ever older than me. This weekend I'm taking you to Carmel - a place you've never been - to stay in a B&B and then sailing in Monterrey Bay to seek out sea life (whales, dolphins, otters, sea lions, etc).

I am so incredibly lucky to have you in my life. You are becoming my family and every day I love you more and more. I love your crazy bed head, and your amazing laugh, your constant enthusiasm for life, the way you sing in the shower, and  your ability to challenge me and keep me on my toes.

I am so lucky.

Crazy

On Monday I drove home from work convinced Kamel didn't love me anymore. Why you ask? Because I was on my period. And no matter what anyone says - hormones have much to do with life, and can make normally sane people, crazy. So when I got home that day I crawled into bed and played Super Mario Brothers on the DS, still fully clothed, and waited for Kamel to come home.

When Kamel walked in the door he called out, "Lauren! Lauren?" and I mumbled, "In here," with the comforter up around my mouth and my eyes fixed to the screen.

"Lauren? What are you doing?" he said at the door.

"Nothing.... you don't love me anymore."

"What?" and he laughed, and crawled into bed next to me and kissed the back of my neck while I was still cocooned like a crazy in my comforter. "Of course I love you," he said, "I love you more than anything ever in the whole world and I'm never ever going to stop no matter what. Unless you cheat on me. And then I'll still love you, but I'll leave, so don't do that ok?"

"No, but, but..." and then I listed off the million wedding stresses that I had and the million things I needed to get done and how he wasn't help me at all! Not at all! Not even a little bit. And then he explained to me how he was doing lots of things, but just behind the scenes and without telling me, because he didn't think he had to. Oh him. One day he'll learn.

"And guess what?! I ordered you a surprise! From Amazon! And it came today! Do you wanna see it?"

And I shook my head, yes. Because now I'm 5 years old and my future husband is taking care of me. He jumped off the bed and ran into the other room and before he entered he commanded me to close my eyes. So I did. And when I held out my hand, a package was placed upon it. and in that package were....

Crazy Straws!!!

The We in Us

I know I've written my engagement story. And it was a private moment, surprising and sweet and beautiful. And it was important, but not as important as what happened after. I've been thinking about writing this post for a while, well more like thinking about these ideas for a while, but couldn't write them down just yet because I needed a little more distance. And now it's been a full two months since I said yes.

The thing is, I got engaged on a Thursday ("got engaged" that sounds so gauche), and if I had any advice for anyone it would be that no matter how anxious you are, do not pop the question on a weekday, when you both have to trudge off to work the day after.

When I was dating Kamel, we did the majority of our relationship in different cities, in different states, and though the distance sucked, it wasn't horrible. I like my independence. In fact, when Kamel filled out a survey about me and compared it to my own filled out survey about me, we both put that my #1 priority in life was independence. His was feeling safe. I like to do my own thing. I like to sit alone and write or read or go out with my own friends. And I like when he does his own thing, when he goes to movies with his people or does nerdy boy things without me. But the morning after he asked me to marry him, I went to work reluctantly. This really isn't earth shattering, I often go to work reluctantly. We could say the majority of the time I am dragging myself out of bed to go to work in a reluctant manner. But it wasn't work I was reluctant for, it was being away from him. The entire day, after our engagement my thoughts were solely on Kamel, and when I could see him again, be with him, and have no one else around. Being engaged, for me, flipped a switch. It wasn't just about me anymore, it was about us and I felt an incredible desire to protect it, to nurture it.

I'm still independent me. I still run off to Chicago and leave Kamel at home, I still plan winter time snowboarding adventures with college folk and without Kamel. I still like to lay in bed and read and go for walks by myself. But I also hate coming home to an empty house. I hate when we're both so busy during the week that I only see him when he's crawling into bed next to me, waking me up. I want us to come home, I want us to make dinner, eat together, watch movies together, sit side by side on our computers together. And I want us to not be in the world all the time, around people. I have an immense craving to hide up in our new apartment, away from everyone and just be us.

Being engaged, surprisingly, is not just about a fab ring and planning a kick ass wedding. Being engaged is not about the build up to the wedding, it's about the build up to the marriage. And that's what I've been thinking about, that's what I've been wanting to share because no one tells you that when you're a kid and you're running around with a sheet on your head playing bride. Engagement is so much more meaningful than I ever thought it would be.

Ribbit

This week, Kamel and I have Alejandro (his cousin) visiting from Mexico. This week we are also sleeping in the new apartment amidst boxes and boxes and bubble wrap and luggage filled with hastily packed clothing. I am, to say the least, a little stressed out. But Alejandro is awesome. He is kind and polite and well-mannered. And if, when I asked him about girls, he didn't respond with "oh, I like all girls!" and then gave me a dashingly devilsh grin, I would try to convince some of my single ladies to pounce on him. That, and his location being in Mexico.

Every day for the last two weeks my days have gone like this: Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast in my car, drive to work, work, come home, make dinner/do laundry, eat dinner standing in the kitchen with kamel, pack/clean/move things to the new apartment, sleep at 10. I want to punch myself in the face/hide from the world for a very long time. And now, because we have guests in town the moving and the packing is being supplemented with outings and entertaining. All while the boxes stay boxes and the dressers stay empty. Did I mention I was a little stressed? And then guess what? Work looks a little something like this:

I know. I am in packing hell. But then on Monday, because Alejandro wanted to check out some apple products at the mall, and there just so happens to be a Brookstone in that mall, and we just so happened to wander into that Brookstone, I now have two pet water frogs.

Here is how that decision went:

Me: OHMYGOD FROGS!!!
Kamel: No. No way in hell.
Me: Oh pleaassse?? They will sit on my desk and I'll feed them and they only take two little pellets a week and they only need to be cleaned 4 times a year and it's only $35.00 dollars and I want frogs!!
Kamel: Ew. No Lauren! they are slimy and gross and ew! They'll be swimming around and I cannot have them in the house!
Me: *Big big big smile* Please?
Kamel: .....fine.... BUT I'M NOT CLEANING THEM! And if they get out it is ALL YOUR FAULT.
Me: YAAAAAAAY!! FROGS!!!!!!!!

Tuesday morning rolled around, the frogs were still swimming around in their tank, being all froggy, and I left for work. 1/2 way through the day I get this text message from Kamel: "BTW the frogs were kinda cute this morning."

I WIN!! I WIN!! I WIN!!

He Probably Is

Thanks for the headsup, bathroom stall at Lucky 13.

The Weekend! And Then We Went On a Boat

I think I crammed more things into this 4th of July long weekend then I generally cram into an entire month. I'm thinking this speaks to how busy I was and not to how inactive I usually am. On Friday I went out to drinks with Margaret and then to a late dinner at the only worthy deep dish place in San Francisco, Little Star, with Kamel in tow. I love going out on Fridays because 1) It's a great way to start the weekend and 2) when you get home it feels like Friday = TWO DAYS. The work day, and the play day. So when Saturday rolls around and feels like sunday, you can remind yourself it's not and it becomes a bonus day! Just like that. Instant faux-three-day-weekend.

On saturday I was off to the ranch to sweat it out with the lucas folk from 11-4. But the fun didn't stop there. After we left, Kamel and I went furniture shopping! The most exhausting activity in the entire world! (second only to car shopping...oh the drudgery!!) Especially when you go to pick out a couch and end up shopping for pillows and a rug at IKEA afterward. IKEA! I don't think I even need to expound on that. We finally got home grumpy and dirty and not at all hungry (two hotdogs you say? I don't mind if I do!). I immediately jumped into a bath and scrubbed the dirt that had accumulated around my ankles from all that IKEA! shopping, dirty IKEA. (No it was from the ranch and all of that kicking of dust I did, but Ikea couldn't have helped.)

The next day I shot out of bed at 640 because I am a crazy person and needed to go back to the furniture store where we picked out a couch to actually purchase it. Convinced, was I, that stores on the 4th of July (even though it was a sunday) opened at 9:00am and we needed to HURRY! PUT YOUR SHOES ON! LET'S GET THIS DAY GOING! Kamel fed me waffles and then looked up the store hours which were actually 11:00. I lose. (I wonder who I could have inherited this need to be at stores BEFORE THEY OPEN...... MOM) So I stewed in my own anticipation for a few hours until we could finally leave! and go spend hundereds of dollars! After that - instead of going to IKEA again where we had picked out a lovely cream rug and some pillows, we decided to check out Target. Because Kamel and I needed more choices, more chances to ram our heads against a wall and bicker over the exact measurments of things. Yay!! We ended up settling on an awesome rug for less than what we were going to spend at IKEA and some pretty comfy pillows to match. This is my domestic life.

But that was just the beginning of my day. Because we had a date with destiny! This sunday Kamel and I got to cross something off of our "to do before the end of 2010" list!

1.) Charter a boat
2.) Take Kamel somewhere he has never been (he's always doing this for me, it's time for me to show off a little)
3.) Go to Mexico
4.) Go to at least 1 concert
5.) Host a party in our new place

Ah yes. You too can charter the Bay Lady from Spinnaker Sailing via their website at http://www.spinnaker-sailing.com/. I started off making reservations for the 4th and feeling like a fucking rockstar. I was checking something off the list - and more than that, I was going to be on a boat this 4th of July. Hell yes.

Kamel and I got to the Embarcadero a little early, so we decided to sit and watch the marina people come and go from their fancy boats. As we were sitting there, enjoying the evening sun, I began to notice the wind pick up. A gust here, a gust there, and soon I was beginning to feel the tickling of sheer panic. Suddenly I did not want to get on that boat. The wind was starting, big exhales of it, and with every ruffle of my hair, my fingers gripped the inside of my sweatshirt tighter and tighter. It wasn't like we were headed out on a yacht, this was a sail boat, the kind that needs wind to fuel it, the kind of boat that is, in my mind, manhandled by the wind! Kamel was incredibly excited, and I was incredibly afraid.

I spent most of my time being very unsure, never letting go of the hand rail when I wasn't locked down in my seat, and trying my best to stay warm. Let me tell you internet - staying warm on a sail boat in San Francisco during the month of July is impossible. By the end (and because kamel is super human) I was wearing: tshirt, sweatshirt, puffy vest, jeans, shoes and socks, kamel's coat, and my circle scarf. Sailboating at night in San Francisco is not for the skimpily clad.

Once we were out on the water for a while, I lived through some large wakes that sent my fingers of steal into kamel's arm, had a beer, witnessed the 1st mate rockstar of a woman raise the sails, had her try to convince me we weren't all going to die, then cried a little (shh! no one saw!), I began to slowly relax. And the water really was beautiful, the views of the city breathtaking, and the fireworks show went off as if performed especially for us. Plus they had snacks.

Kamel while surveying the other yachts and party boats zooming past us: "Our boat is totally the best boat!! It's the BEST boat out here!"
Me in response: "Our boat is like camping."

Would I do this again? No. Was it an amazing, romantic, (thankfully) once in a lifetime adventure? For me, Yes.

Emphasis on ONCE in a lifetime.

Room With A View

Yes, that's right, I made a literary reference to a book written in 1908. BEHOLD MY LITERARY GENIUS. But really, let's talk about me more, and not oppressed women in Edwardian England. Boor-ing.

Guess what I did this weekend? In a whirlwind of apartment viewing, decision making, and money spending, kamel and I have signed a lease for our very own apartment! I feel like one of those people who need to take photos of herself holding her keys. But I won't. Instead let me show you the amazing view from EVERY WINDOW IN THE PLACE.


Oh yes. I live right by the beach, on a hill, overlooking the beachy parts of San Francisco. You want to come over, and drink wine, and watch the sunset in my happy apartment now, don't you? I will make you nachos and we'll have a grand time.


That funny little kitchen window thingy will be where I serve you food. And where I eat my cereal and gaze out onto the ocean as the fog lifts and the sun peeks out, starting its day too. It's so cute, you could spit right? Just not on the hardwoods.


This is the dining zone, where my childhood dinner table will reside. It's round and seats four. My grandmother has been storing it for me since I was 19 and now it will finally have a resting place. Huzzah! Behind where I am taking this photo is the living zone where kamel will store his TV and his couch (which I think has an ugly cover on it - hopefully soon to be rectified) and his DVD collection and his original star wars, epsidoe idon'tcare movie poster that's signed by the artist. Somewhere in the apartment will be a lightsaber, and a clone trooper helmet, side by side with my art purchased in france. Isn't combining lives fun?

More pictures will come in a few weeks once we are packed and then unpacked and set up.

So many highfives were exchanged about this apartment. We totally win.

Yosemite!

Two days after Kamel proposed we headed out to Yosemite. This is a special place because 1) it's beautiful. Amazingly, jaw droppingly beautiful 2) I realized I loved Kamel in this magical place and 3) Yosemite is always changing, something that never occurred to me before this visit.

The first time we went, we just went. We drove the four hours and scampered up rocks, walked through rivers and snapped vacation pictures and then drove the four hours back, exhausted and happy. This time we booked a room on the edge of the park and set out to take better pictures, to really see the park, whereas the first time it was too big to see clearly. I had shipped my old film camera from high school from my parent's house to San Francisco so I could learn how to actually use it.

We got there and were shocked to see snow.


Kamel had never been in snow before. Seen it from car windows and bits and pieces in parking lots from the drive down from Seattle, but he had never stomped around in it, never picked it up or made a snow ball. While driving into the park it actually started snowing. Kamel, at first, thought it was bugs. Snow in Yosemite, the beginning of spring, was startling.


By 5:00pm i was asleep on my feet so we drove back to out little motel - the cleanest hotel I have ever stayed in. I could have eaten off the bathroom floors. But instead of that, we ate in this grandma-esque diner where everything came with gravy and mashed potatoes. I had a chicken burger.

The next day the alarm went off at 6 and I promptly threw a fit about how we always have to wake up early, and how i need to sleep, and i'm tired of go go going and kamel said "that's fine, we'll just stay in bed" but then I felt guilty because I knew we were trying to catch the morning light. So after he soothed me for about 30 minutes I dragged myself out of bed, kamel made bagels we had bought the day before, and in less than an hour I had taken this picture:



Driving deeper into the park we suddenly saw a line of orange cones to the right by the shoulder. I looked over the little edge and right there, munching on some sort of grass or cabbage, was a brown bear. All sleepy and focused on filling his belly.


Right after we got out of the car and quietly sneaked over to the side of the road, a van pulled over and out lumbered about 5-6 middle aged tourists all yelling "hey, look-y over here, there's a BEAR!" I watched the bear stop nibbling and turn toward the noise. I took about two steps back, my first instinct was to run back to the car, because HELLO! A fucking BEAR! But then I realized I could most definitely out run every single one of them, and once the bear had one of them on the ground, i figured the rest of us would be safe. So I let them try to call the bear over .... let me repeat that - yes they tried to CALL the bear over! And I just kept my safe distance from THOSE ass holes and continued snapping my quiet pictures before Kamel and I tiptoed back to the car and continued on our way.

Later that day a wolf traipsed in front of our car like we weren't even there. Those pictures didn't turn out that well - but you'd have been surprised at the width of its tail.

That afternoon we went to a location where a forest fire had eaten at the woods and while Kamel shot the magnificent rock formations I went searching for re-growth.


There were little fern spores popping out of the ground, but the light was weird and those didn't turn out so well. And there were wild flowers growing out of a felled, burnt log, but it was more impressive in real life than on film.

We hiked to the reflection lake thingy - which was an amazing walk through giant boulders that could only have been dropped by giant, ancient glaciers. The walk was quiet and beautiful and when we got to the lake their were so many tourists wandering around, being loud, yelling at their kids (one little girl actually puked into the lake) that we didn't stay long. Yosemite as a shuttle that goes to all the major stops so that old or disabled or people with small children can still see the major sites. This causes for a lot of annoying people, but it's a pretty cool thing for California Parks to set up.

And then we went home. Tired and smelly and sick of driving. We went home and took showers, and dropped off film at costco to be developed and then slept. And again I love my life. :)

Aww Love

How do I start off this post? Everything I write feels covered in cheese. So I'll tell you a story incorporating cheese and see how that goes.

Last Thursday I was tired and crabby on my way home from work. I was chewing on godknowswhat up in my head for the whole drive with the lovely Margaret as we beebopped to music and made fun of silly license plates and ridiculous drivers i had a bad attitude brewing. So when I asked Kamel to walk to the bank with me to deposit a check and then the check wouldn't work in the ATM, I was snippy. In order to cure the snippyness we went and had quesadillas at my favorite mexican place. This place has amazing margaritas, amazing homemade chips, amazing guac, it is... amazing. The lighting is low, the booths are well worn, the people there want to eat great good and drink great tequila. I love it. (That's where the cheese comes in, get it? Queso.)

And then we walked home and I climbed immediately into my sweats, plopped down on the futon and started to work on some writing. Kamel walked into the room while I was working on a beautiful sentence involving a thunderstorm which had turned the sky dark and lasted until night. (See that? That's art right there.) So Kamel walked into the room (with a priest and a donkey.... just kidding) and just stands there. So of course the conversation began like this:

Me: What are you doing?

Him: Nothing.

Me: Ok. Can you sit down? You're being weird.

Him: Ok.

*And he sits RIGHT next to me. Shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh.

Me: What are you doing?

Him: Loving you.

*And he snuggles in closer - if that were possible.

Me: Oookay...

Him: Today's a really good day, Lauren.

Me: Yeah it was ok.

Him: And I love you and I want to start a life with you.

Me: You're making me nervous.

After more romanticizing and lovely words that are all kind of blurry, and after i interrupted him so I could save my work and close my computer, he pulled out the ring and asked me to marry him. To which I repled, "Ok!!!" with much enthusiasm.


The next day I went to work and felt like I was a walking zombie. I kept checking to make sure the ring was still there and all I wanted to do was spend time with Kamel. When I got out of the car at Kamel's house he must have been watching for me because he burst out of the apartment and came trotting over to my car for a massive hug. And then we went to the 30th anniversary of Star Wars Movie Number two (But really it's like number 5 or something?) - that I can't remember the proper name of - work event at Lucas because I am the QUEEN OF AWESOME GIRLFRIENDS.

I had told everyone I didn't really want to start planning the wedding for at least a month, but as these things often happen, it was out of my control.

The date is set: July 16, 2011 and I have a chapel (Holy Names) and a reception place booked. I think that will be quite enough for now.

On saturday morning we went to Yosemite. More on that later. But here is a picture of our hands that I took in the car while on the way back to San Francisco. We were in the car a lot.


On July 16, 2011 I will be Lauren Dupuis Perez and Kamel will be Kamel Dupuis Perez. Cuz we share stuff. Aww love.

Talking With Boys

While sitting and eating lunch silence falls.

Kamel sings: So fresh and so cleanclean!

Me: haha why?

Kamel: [flustered] I dunno! I've had that song stuck in my head since 2000.

[pause]

Kamel: I've had Regulators stuck in my head since 1998.

Me: Regulators! Mount Up!

Kamel: I swear to God it's been driving me crazy! I should probably look up what year So Fresh and So Clean actually came out...

Me: I wanna run upstairs and blog about this right now.

A few minutes later...

Me: You don't like my pinned hair! You looked at it funny!

Kamel: No! That's not it... it's just that it reminded me of something.

Me: Of what?

Kamel laughing: No, I can't tell you! you don't want to know!

Me: I do! Tell me!

Kamel: Well.... when I opened the door and saw you my first thought was 'oh... hello Mr. President.'

Me: What?!

Kamel: You looked like Benkamin Franklin! Cuz it was flat on top and then poofy on the sides... ya know? I figured it wasn't done yet.




I've already taken the necessary steps to fix.

Valentines

Waking up next to Kamel with fog outside and rain still on the windows. After making me laugh so hard I have to cover my face with the comforter so as not to wake claire - something about a dream he had about his knee growing a belly button - we sit up in bed and surf the internet on separate laptops. His feet still in socks, keep my little naked ones warm. Our elbows touch. He sometimes steals kisses and tells me how lucky he is, how beautiful I am, how he loves my big hair in the morning. He laughs at the crumbs still on my sweatshirt from my plain waffle and then laughs more as I pick the crumbs off and eat them. I read mommy blogs and he researches building his own computer. He smells like trees and hair gel. I love the way his undershirt feels against my cheek.

I am lucky.

Happy Valentines.

The Frailty of Man

Kamel as been bitching about a really really bad sore throat for .... mmm ... at least 5 days now? Possibly more, but let's be honest at a certain point I just tune him out, ok? So yesterday when he was still complaining and the advil wasn't working I say "I bet you have strep throat. Go look in the mirror at the back of your throat and if it looks like cottage cheese you'll know."

How is it that all the women I know have some sort of medical knowledge? This has to be passed down from the midwife traidtion. Or when doctors were so scarce they couldn't be counted on for anything but the nearly dead. My other rhetorical question is how do men not know any of this shit? For reals. Without a mother or a wife or a sister (and aside from the obvious birthing, feeding, and general caring for before the age where you're tall enough to reach for food) men would shrivel up and die before they're thirty.

Back to my story: Kamel comes back from the bathroom proclaiming his throat generally pink and creepy looking, like something you'd see on Grey's Anatomy. I am skeptical but then I put his complaints back under the category of "Whining" and move on. I tell him he should call the doctor and maybe he can get a perscription for these little pearl capsules that numb you so you can swallow and eat again. So he calls and the fine (ass hole-y) people at kaiser tell him even if he has strep, it can go away on it's own and they don't want to over medicate him and the only thing he would get is a prescription for IB Profen so stay home and stop complaining. He later confesses to me that right before he called the Dr. he had the irrational fear it might be throat cancer, which in turn reminds me so much of my father I have to laugh and call him crazy on repeat. When I tell claire this portion of the story she reminds me that I am always thinking I am pregnant or have aids so really I have no room to point fingers. Touche, roomate, touche.

But then this morning I guess poor bunny Kamel wakes up with searing throat pain so he immediately calls the kaiser of doom and gets an appointment for 10am. I text him and remind him to ask for the numbing pills. I guess when the lady with the flashlight finally looked into his throat she made a face that said "HOLY SHIT!" and said "woah that is very severe. You must be in incredible pain." This is where I don't feel bad because 1) apparently boys* don't know where the back of their throats are 2) if he was in severe pain, which he says he was, why didn't he demand to see a dr.? And why did the medical people badger him into not coming in? This seems ridiculous to me. and finally 3) He should have just gone when i told him to go yesterday. So this is my I told you so moment.

He is now armed with numbing spray, antibiotics to take three times a day, and a pending prescription for vicodin if he so chooses. That's some intense strep. He also was told not to go to work until wednesday because he is "highly contagious" or "radioactive" as he put it. This is where the distance between San Francisco and Seattle works in my favor.

And i actually do feel bad because sore throats suck. And even now I'm swallowing and it reminds me of when I've had them and I wince simply from the memory.

*Also, yes, I know I'm totally generalizing. But seriously - I have a wealth of general everyday medical knowledge passed down to me from my exceptionally smart mother and these. Do boys simply not absorb this knowledge? Do they tune it out? Do mothers bestow this only upon daughters? What's the sitch?

Also - another story: One time when I was 14 my dad told me that I could still go swimming when I had my period without a pad or a tampon because the pressure of the water would keep the period from leaking out. I was adamantly against this so called "truth" he was speaking and of course ran and told my mom. Where do boys get this stuff? I mean it's funny, but eventually somebody has to tell them the facts of life. No?

New Years!

Everyone! Gather round! Behold.... the FUTURE! It's 2010 - where are my meals in pill form and my flying cars? Where is my colony on the moon and clothing made out of shiny shiny fabrics equipped with pointy shoulders? Where are our mobile chatting devices that take and send videos and pictures and text INSTANTLY?! Oh yeah... check on the mobiles.

Anyways ... New Years Eve!! WAHOOOO! PARTAY!!!

Well, sort of. When I told an elderly-ish customer at work that my new years consisted of pizza and movie watching he replied "Looks like you need a CAT!". Excuse me, sir? Excuse me? Do you want to repeat that one more time? Because I am a DOG person and will not hear another word to the contrary!!

But no, really, I was with Kamel, and there was pizza and movies, I was wearing black tights and a sweatshirt, and I was very excited. See?


On the movie menu for the evening was District 9, Drag Me To Hell, and the first episode of the first season of Battlestar Galactica (which happens to be a 3 hour mini series... wait, let me adjust my nerd glasses, ah that's better). We only got through one movie and then we tried to watch fireworks on the local news but no local news was to be had. None. I was disappointed. I blame Kamel's bunny ears attached to his TV. He's going to leave a comment that the TV was working just fine and to blame the news people, but they are untouchable and it's so much more fun to blame him.

We also participated in my 4th christmas celebration of the season. Yay! MORE PRESENTS.


I got him a few DVD sets and a darth vader alarm clock. (Oh my god, I almost spelled vader with an "or"... that would have been grounds for immediate break up. Thank god I double checked on the google.)


I am now queen of the nerds, behold my glory and be careful to shade your eyes so as not to blind yourselves by the brightness of my magnificence. Oh yes.

My boyfriend is better than your boyfriend because he totally surprised me with a kindle. This is me showing off my gift:


And then I immediately called maris to tell her we are now kindle buddies.


What you can't hear in the background is Kamel asking "Wait... what? Who are you calling? What are you doing?" And me: "Shh! I'm calling Maris! She needs to know! We have kindles now!!" And Kamel: "Seriously? Right now?"

For serious.

Overall new years was great! I am a sucker for new beginnings. The only thing I'm worried about now are the massive resolution people who may or may not be flooding my gym as I type. They won't last the month.

Texts

- Sorry I missed your calls. I was sleeping like a hibernating bear.
- But now I am awake and want to play in the snow.

+ Hahaha you are cracking me up.

-Why? Because I am a Polar Bear from Earth? That's how I feel today.

+ As opposed to venus?

- That's your planet. I'm from mars. But the bear is from *earth. ;)

*Disney's Earth

Yosemite

One of my most favorite days ever happened only a few months ago. A four hour drive to Yosemite on a total scorcher with Kamel. I was half drugged on benadryl and he had to practically drag me to the car, and it was an 8 hour round trip drive, but it was spectacular. It was a beautiful day, a beautiful park with spectacular natural wonders (i really recommend a visit), but also - this is where I realized I loved Kamel. I had just come back from doing my initial move into my apartment in seattle, I flew back to San Francisco and the next day we piled into the car for an adventure.

There are lots of pictures but only a few videos. And the other day I found it again and I had forgotten how well it captures the day. It's short, and not incredibly interesting. But there is something really sweet and honest about it, something that gives me the warm and fuzzies. Just me in the river while Kamel films on his iphone and you can hear a family up aways splash and play. Enjoy.

Boyfriends Make You Fat

About a year ago while I was driving to work in the morning, listening to my morning radio shows, I heard a segment about dating and how people gain weight while in a relationship and lose weight while single. And let me tell you - no truer words were ever spoken. Below is a picture of Kamel and I at the fair.


We ate scones, corn dogs, fries, and chocolate chip cookies. That was just during the 5 hours we were there. We did do a lot of walking at the fair itself, but generally we just sort of hung out, watched movies, ate food, etc. Then Kamel went back to San Francisco for a few days and I went back to running and eating right, fighting the urge to eat everything in the display case at work. But then three days later he came back and we were back to eating out for every meal, telling eachother it was ok because "hey! this is vacation!!" but when does the vacation end? We had planned two fairly intense walks, but those never happened - instead we had dessert at almost every meal and made muffins, then ate too many and collapsed in bed propped up on pillows because the weight of lemon poppyseed cake was sitting in our throats - no room left in the tummy.

Having a boyfriend makes you fat. You eat out more, you go to movies, buy candy, go out to dinner, split the sundae. You have a buddy to get drinks with, to share the bottle of champagne with, and someone to enable your bad behavior and to tell you "you're beautiful just the way you are" so what's one more cookie/piece of cake/basket of fries? Until a month goes by and you can't fit into your pants anymore. The muffin top isn't that attractive when it's pouring out of your jeans and not spilling deliciously out of the muffin tin, all warm and tempting.

So now instead of encouraging each other to have another slice, we're waking up early to workout before starting our days, abolishing all desserts, and eating smaller portions. It's not as indulgent but it's turning out to be just as fun. When he tells me he's done 30 pushups it makes me want to do 10 more. When he wakes up early to go for an hour walk, it propels me out of bed to go running. Part of it's my competitive nature. I generally want to win at everything. But it's also having a buddy to do things with, regardless of the activity. Besides, being the hot couple is so much more fun than being the cinnamon roll couple with frosting on our faces.

Well actually that does sound kind of delicious....