The regular back story is that all yesterday my coworker and I were discussing how effing FABULOUS Phoebe Snow is. She is this totally sexy R&B singer (And I do mean R&B and none of this Beyonce hullabaloo) from the late 70s early 80s. Her voice is amazing. It makes me want to take off all my clothes and lie on a bearskin rug in front of a fire. For reals. You want a romantic evening? Break out some greatest hits. The only picture we knew of was her album cover:
Check out that amazing fro and that kick ass beauty mark? I mean hello - It's like I totally want to be her for halloween that's how much I love her. And that's a lot. But coworker and I were not satisfied. We wanted to know more. I had only heard her greatest hits album - playing through my parents stereo in my living room while we washed the dishes and danced on the little circle rug - and that's the album we had at work too. But where did all these hits come from? And more importantly - what did pheobe snow REALLY look like? We imagined deliciously curvy. Like a young, much much thinner Aretha (Sans bow hats)... something like this: Hypothesized Image of Pheobe Snow in the Likeness of a Young, Thin Aretha. There was investigating to be done. There were google image searches that needed filling out and clicking. It was going to be a very simple task.
But then.... but then I got really disappointed. I'm not gonna lie - there were some gasps. And I think I even covered my mouth at one point, because the pictures I unearthed should have stayed earthed. Sometimes google tells me things I really wish I didn't know. But now that I DO KNOW, I feel compelled to share with the world. This is Pheobe Snow.
I'm not saying the lady is hideous. I'm just saying - she is definitely NOT the diva I imagined. And this is a giant let down. The sad part is - maybe that's why she wasn't long lasting for the entertainment world (As claire put it - "Who is Phoebe Snow?"), as image obsessed as it is (ahem, present company included). And just to prove to you that it wasn't necessarily old age that did her in, and to also show you her amazing vocals, here is a video of her singing in 1977 - right at the upswing of her career (her greatest hits end in 1981).
I've always been a firm--FIRM--believer that ugly people make the best artists. Who better to express the subtle and oft-unnoticed nuances of the human condition than an ugly person? Are you going to expect a PRETTY person to do that? I don't think so. Unattractive people actually have to get through life by thinking and observing critically, because nobody's gonna give them a pass based on looks. They also have to develop actual human emotions, as the process of growing up in a superficial society is rife with opportunities to feel something real (often pain). That, combined with the requirement to learn an actual skill--most-likely intellectual--to survive creates the perfect storm of soul, expression, and passion.
ReplyDeleteIn conclusion, ugly people make the best artists. QED.
Ok, but just to be clear - I'm pretty right??
ReplyDeleteWow, I wish I couldve seen that! (the gasping and the covering of the mouth)
ReplyDeleteI always get shocked when I finally put a face to a voice. So I have stopped doing it.
Of course you are, Lauren. That's what makes your artistic pursuits so notable. You had to overcome SO MUCH!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, you're pretty :-)
It's practically a disability.
ReplyDeleteLauren! Come on! What's wrong with her? She's not thin? How is it cool to rip apart an artist you supposedly like just because she isn't pretty enough for you?
ReplyDeleteImagine how shitty it would feel if someone who liked your writing wrote on their blog "too bad she's ugly! I can't help but tell you how shocked I am by her nerve not to be gorgeous, it's just a flaw of mine."
To be honest... you clean up well, but you're pretty average.
ReplyDelete